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Tag Archives: virginia

Bob invades VA. A true text message story.

This conversation just happened. And made me cringe inside.

V: I just saw a commercial for Bob‘s opening in Hyattsville and Tysons. Better move further south.
Me: Dammit. I may never escape.
V: Better just give in now.
Me: Noooo never! I did not invite Bob to “come on down” to the south. How did he make it past the Mason-Dixon line?
V: Dem rebels must’ve let down their guard.
Me: Slackers. That’s why they lost the war.
V: Something like that. Maybe you should man your cannon now.
Me: Did you read my blog  today?

On a side note, it appears as though Bob has gotten too old and decrepit looking to do his own ads, and now has a cartoon Bob to take his place. NOT an improvement.

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My hometown may be hazardous to your health

Day 35 – a picture of your hometown

Virginia likes to brag.  I’ve learned this after 5 years of college and 6 years of living in the state.  Excuuuse me, commonwealth.  Sheesh.  As I was saying, Virginia’s all about, “I’m a commonwealth, I’m special.”  Or, “I birthed eight presidents, beat that.”  Or, “I have plantations and tobacco and even have a tobacco scholarship.”

To which Connecticut responds with, “My tobacco’s better than your cheap-o tobaccy.”  Wikipedia, the world’s most reliable source, told me that 100% of Canadian cigarettes are made from Virginia tobacco.  Cuban cigars are wrapped in Connecticut’s shade tobacco.  Quality over quantity, my friends.

So with that brief botany lesson, we come to today’s picture.

I drove past this tobacco barn every day on my way to work. It’s ramshackle and sad looking, and if you pass it just after the tobacco’s been harvested, it looks like somebody walked down the inside of the barn kicking out every other slat.  That’s just the vents.  Shade tobacco is delicate.  It needs special treatment.  Got that, VA?

That being said, my hometown is not just a giant cancer pit.  It’s pretty suburban.

This is my other hometown, in P.G. County.

Boys, please don’t mess with me.  I played on cannons growing up.

True story.